The Correct Approach when Correcting and Advising People

Hazrat Shaikh Moulana Muhammad Zakariyya (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) mentioned:

The correct method is to advise people secretly on the sins that we come to know secretly, and sins that are done openly can be corrected openly. However, advice should be given in such a way that the sinner is not disgraced, otherwise, if one humiliates the person while correcting him, one’s good deeds will be destroyed and one will become deserving of sin.

In short, the evil deeds should definitely be stopped, on account of the various warnings sounded in the Ahaadith for those who do not do so, but at the same time, one should maintain the respect of the person being corrected.

The way to do this is that if any sin is being committed openly, then it can be stopped openly and clearly. However, when correcting a sin which is being committed secretly, then one should not do it in a way that others come to know of it. Furthermore, it is also among the etiquettes of tableegh that one should adopt a soft and gentle approach when correcting people.

A person once spoke harshly to the Khalifah Ma’moon Ar-Rasheed while advising him. The Khalifah said, “Please be polite and kind to me because Fir’aun was a worse person than me, and Hazrat Moosa (‘alaihis salaam) was a much better person than you, yet when Allah Ta‘ala sent Hazrat Moosa (‘alaihis salaam) and Hazrat Haroon (‘alaihis salaam) to advise Fir’aun, Allah Ta‘ala commanded them saying:

فَقُوۡلَا لَه قَوۡلًا لَّیِّنًا لَّعَلَّه یَتَذَکَّرُ اَوۡ یَخۡشٰی ﴿۴۴﴾

Speak to him politely so that he may accept the advice, or maybe he will fear (Allah Ta‘ala)” (Surah Tahaa v. 44)

Once, a young person came to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and said, “Please allow me to commit adultery.” The Sahaabah of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) present could not tolerate this and were angered; but Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said to him, “Come close to me.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then asked him, “Would you like anyone to commit adultery with your mother?” He replied, “May my life be sacrificed for you! I would never want this to happen!” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then said, “In the same way, other people also do not want that zina should be committed with their mothers.”

Then, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked him, “Do you wish that someone commits zina with your daughter?” He said, “May my life be sacrificed for you! I would never want this to happen!” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then said, “Similarly, other people also do not want that zina should be committed with their daughters.”

In the same way, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked him the same question in relation to his sister, maternal aunt and paternal aunt (and each time he said that he would not want this).

Then, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) placed his blessed hand on the young man’s chest and made dua saying, “O Allah! Purify his heart, forgive his sins, and protect his private parts from sin.” The narrator of this Hadith says that after this, nothing was more hateful to this young man than adultery.

In essence, one should employ the means of dua, advice, softness, etc. when advising or correcting someone. One should think to himself that, “If I was in such a position, how would I like someone to advise or correct me?”

(Fazaa’il-e-A’maal [Urdu] pg. 619-620)