Husbands Should Appreciate Their Wives

Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) once mentioned:

Husbands should always be appreciative to their wives. Basically, there are two reasons for which husbands should be appreciative towards their wives.

The first reason is that Allah Ta’ala has placed her in your nikaah and kept her under your control. It is against a man’s nobility and respect that he causes pain or inconvenience to the one who is under his authority and control.

The second reason is that she is a believer who possesses deen. Hence, you should think that just as you are a believer, and are striving to please Allah Ta’ala through good actions, she is also a believer who is striving to please Allah Ta’ala through good actions. (Hence, since both of you are striving to please Allah Ta’ala, then you should overlook her shortcomings.)

Furthermore, as far as the deen of the husband and wife is concerned, it is not known whose Deeni position is higher and who is more accepted in the sight of Allah Ta‘ala. We should bear in mind that it is not necessary that a woman will always be lower than a man in her deen. Rather, in the sight of Allah Ta‘ala, it is possible for a woman to equal a man in her deeni position or even excel him. Therefore, one should not view women with condescension or consider them to be inferior to men in deen. When a person is powerless, downtrodden and broken-hearted, then Allah Ta‘ala accepts even the smallest of their actions and raises their ranks.

(Malfoozaat Hakeemul Ummat 23/193)