Ihyaaud Deen An Effort to Revive Deen in Totality
6. When going to the home of the host to attend an invitation, one should ensure that he adheres to the aadaab (etiquettes) before entering the home of the host (e.g. one should first seek permission and then enter the home with salaam, etc).
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ امَنُوا۟ لَا تَدْخُلُوا۟ بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّىٰ تَسْتَأْنِسُوا۟ وَتُسَلِّمُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَهْلِهَا ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ ﴿٢٧﴾
O you who believe, do not enter houses other than your own houses unless you seek permission and greet their inmates with salaam. That is best for you, so that you may take heed.
7. One should ensure that he does not cause any inconvenience to the host through his words or actions. One should be appreciative for whatever one is served by the host and he should not expect the host to treat him in any special way.
One should not ask the host for some other food or dish besides what he has presented as this will be of inconvenience to him. However, if the host asks the guest if he desires to eat any specific dish, then he may inform him. Nevertheless, when informing him, the guest should not ask the host for something that the host will not be able to provide for him (e.g. it is beyond the host’s financial means) or the host will experience difficulty in acquiring it for him.
If one is being accompanied to the home of the host by his family, then one should keep his minor children under his supervision so that they do not damage the home of the host or his possessions, or cause any inconvenience to the host or his family.
عن عبد الله بن عمرو رضي الله عنهما، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 10)
Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “A (complete and perfect) Muslim is one who is such that other Muslims are safe from the harm of his tongue and hand (i.e. people are not inconvenienced through him in any way).”
8. If the guest is on a diet due to illness or due to being allergic to certain foods, then before the meal is prepared, he should inform his host of his diet. In the case where the guest will be staying at the home of the host for a few days, then upon his arrival he should inform the host of his diet. He should not delay in informing the host until the time when the meal is served, as this will cause inconvenience and difficulty to the host.
9. The guest should ensure that he comes on the appointed time for the invitation. He should not come before the appointed time, as this will cause inconvenience to the host and his family.
Prior to the invitation, the host and his family will be engaged in preparing the meal, placing the cutlery, arranging the seating places etc, and they will not be free to see to the guest and entertain him. If the guest arrives earlier than the expected time, the host and his family, out of consideration for him, will be forced to entertain him, but this will disrupt their entire program and cause them inconvenience and difficulty.
Similarly, the guest should not arrive late for the invitation as this will cause inconvenience to the host and his family, keeping them waiting in suspense. However, if due to some unforeseen circumstance, the guest is delayed (e.g. an accident on the road), then the guest should contact the host (e.g. telephonically) and inform him of the reason for the delay and his expected time of arrival.
10. After the invitation is over, the guest should not prolong his stay in the home of the host as this also will cause inconvenience and difficulty to the host and his family.
Generally, the host and his family will be burdened with certain responsibilities after the invitation is over and the guests have left (viz. to wash the used cutlery and utensils, to clear up the seating area, to rearrange and reset their home, to attend to their other affairs etc.). Therefore, if the guest prolongs his stay in the home of the host, this will cause inconvenience to the host and his family.
يَـأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا۟ لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ النَّبِىِّ إِلَّآ أَن يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ إِلَىٰ طَعَامٍ غَيْرَ نَـٰظِرِينَ إِنَىٰهُ وَلَـٰكِنْ إِذَا دُعِيتُمْ فَٱدْخُلُوا فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانتَشِرُوا وَلَا مُسْتأْنِسِينَ لِحَدِيثٍ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكُمْ كَانَ يُؤْذِى النَّبِىَّ فَيَسْتَحْىِۦ مِنكُمْ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَسْتَحْىِۦ مِنَ الْحَقِّ (الأحزاب: 53)
O you who believe, do not enter the houses of the Nabi, unless you are permitted (to enter) for a meal, not (coming so early as) to wait for its preparation. But when you are invited, then enter. Then, once you have had the meal, disperse, without wanting to engage in conversation (thereby prolonging your stay). This (conduct of yours) hurts the Nabi, but he feels shy of (telling) you (about it), but Allah is not shy of the truth.
