Sunnats and Aadaab of the Guest – 1

1. If a person receives an invitation from a Muslim to come to his home for a meal, then if one is able to attend, he should accept the invitation. Accepting the invitation of a believer is a Sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).

عن علي قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: للمسلم على المسلم ست بالمعروف يسلم عليه إذا لقيه ويجيبه إذا دعاه ويشمته إذا عطس ويعوده إذا مرض ويتبع جنازته إذا مات ويحب له ما يحب لنفسه (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 2736)

Hazrat Ali (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “A Muslim has six rights over his fellow Muslim. (They are that) he should make salaam to him when he meets him, he should accept his call (invitation) when he calls him (and the invitation does not include anything impermissible in Shari’ah,), when he sneezes (and says Alhamdulillah) then he should reply to his sneeze by saying ‘Yarhamukallah’, he should visit him when he is sick, he should attend his janaazah when he passes away, and he should love for him what he loves for himself.”

2. If people are invited for a meal at someone’s home or they receive an invitation to attend a walimah function etc, then without receiving an invitation, one should not go to the home or attend the function. This is against the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).

عن عبد الله بن عمر: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: من دعي فلم يجب فقد عصى الله ورسوله، ومن دخل على غير دعوة دخل سارقا وخرج مغيرا (سنن أبي داود، الرقم: 3741)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (radhiyallahu anhuma) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “The one who is invited (e.g. for a walimah function) and he does not attend the function (without any valid excuse), then he has disobeyed Allah Ta’ala and His messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), and the one who has attended without being invited, then he has entered (the home of the host) as a thief and has left (the home) as a looter (i.e. he has taken the wealth of the host without it being permissible for him).”

3. If you are invited for a meal and a person who is not invited wishes to accompany you for the meal, then if you feel that the host will not mind calling that person, then you should seek permission from the host on his behalf. However, if you feel that the host will not be happy, then you should politely explain to the person that he cannot accompany you for the meal as he is not invited.

عن أبي مسعود قال: جاء رجل من الأنصار، يكنى أبا شعيب، فقال لغلام له قصاب: اجعل لي طعاما يكفي خمسة، فإني أريد أن أدعو النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم خامس خمسة، فإني قد عرفت في وجهه الجوع، فدعاهم، فجاء معهم رجل، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: إن هذا قد تبعنا، فإن شئت أن تأذن له فأذن له وإن شئت أن يرجع رجع. فقال: لا، بل قد أذنت له (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 2081)

Hazrat Abu Mas’ood (radhiyallahu anhu) reports, “There was a person from among the Ansaar who was called Abu Shuaib. He once said to his slave who was a butcher, “Prepare a meal for me which will be sufficient for five people, as I wish to invite Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) as one of the five people, because I saw signs of hunger on his face. So he invited them (Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and another four people), and (while they were coming) another man joined them. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said (to Abu Shuaib), “This man has joined us (when coming here). If you wish, you can permit him (to enter your home), and if you wish that he returns, he will return.” He replied, “No, rather I also permit him (to enter and partake of the meals with you people).”

4. Do not accompany an invited person to his host’s residence when you are not invited. Many a time, the host only out of shame and self-respect allows the uninvited guest to remain for meals, while in actual fact he is not happy and has no intention of hosting him.

5. One should not attend a function or meal in the case where one knows that the laws of Shari’ah will be violated (e.g. there will be intermingling of non-mahram men and women, photography, music, or the food served will be haraam or obtained from haraam sources etc.).

Hazrat Abdullah bin Mas’ood (radhiyallahu anhu) was once invited to a waleemah. As he drew close to the gathering, he heard the sound of music being played at the waleemah, and immediately turned away and refrained from attending.

When he was later asked as to why he had returned and did not attend, he said, “I heard Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) saying, ‘The one who adds to the numbers of a people (involved in sin) will be counted from among them (in the sight of Allah Ta’ala).’” (Ithaaful Khiyarah #3297)