The Need for Correct Parenting

parents1Elders should assume responsibility and understand that they have a responsibility towards their juniors. Some people want their wives to become pious and righteous overnight, but they fail to realise how long it took them to correct themselves. On the other hand, there are some who are not worried at all for the Deen of their family. As the head of the home we have to assume responsibility and understand what the responsibility is. Some understand the responsibility to be merely the providing of basic needs, but this is incorrect. The more important aspect is the instilling of correct values. Obviously, the bulk of it will be on the mother, but it does not mean that the father plays no role. Both are parents. If you want respect from the child then you need to pass on that type of values as well. The parents of the past were very firm on this. Parenting is not just to tell the children a few stories and give your spare time. Have a system at home that by Maghrib everyone must be at home. Then after Maghrib, there could be supper and then the family can sit down together as a family and carry out ta`leem.

Five things are recommended nowadays in this ta`leem, especially with the type of environment we have outside. The first is to do the ta`leem of Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. This will assist to motivate and create the enthusiasm to carry out ibaadat. It does not have to be dry. Rather make it enjoyable and to the level of the child. The second aspect after motivation is to understand how to go about doing those encouraged actions. For this you need Bahishti Zewar. The third aspect is the recitation of the Qur’aan. There can be no substitute for this by putting on a CD or the radio. The child must not end the day without the Qur’aan. By reciting the kalaam of Allah, Allah will take care of you. The fourth is a bit of zikr. This will assist in inculcating taqwa. It will create the consciousness that Allah is watching. We normally ask why is the home not right and filled with jinnaat and jadu problems. This is the solution to these problems. The fifth thing is that since the challenges are so great we should make du`aa collectively to Allah Ta`ala to assist us. And this is the greatest gift that a father can give to the child, that he has linked the child to Allah. The child will not feel lost at any time in his life, whether the father is present or not.

Source: Al-Haadi

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