Fancy Faa’izah

Ask our children:

1. Is it okay for a person to worry about looking good, but not to worry about their akhlaaq and character being good?
2. Should a person be proud about their looks?
3. How should a female dress when leaving the home?
4. When someone corrects us, what should we do?

Now tell them the story:

There was once a little girl named Faa’izah. Allah Ta‘ala had blessed her with beauty. When people would meet her, they would smile at her and say, “Masha Allah! You are such a pretty girl Faa’izah!”

However, the more people would praise her and tell her that she was pretty, the prouder she would become, and the more she wanted to hear people praising her and telling her that she was pretty.

Since Faa’izah was always worried about how she looked, she always looked at herself in the mirror. Wherever she went, she looked for a mirror to see that she looked good, and if she could not find a mirror, then she even tried to see her reflection in the microwave and oven door!

However, this was not the only weakness and problem that Faa’izah had. The other weakness and problem which she had was that though her face was pretty, her akhlaaq, manners and character was bad. She would not listen to her parents, would back answer them, ignore them, and pull up her face at them and sulk when they corrected her.

One morning, Faa’izah’s mother woke her up for breakfast and said to her, “Come and eat your breakfast. Then, change out of your pyjamas, wear your cloak and burqah and sit with your Qur’aan Shareef to read Surah Yaseen.” Faa’izah’s mother then went to the kitchen and prepared the breakfast. She stirred the pot of porridge on the stove, boiled the kettle for tea and made toast in the toaster.

However, after fifteen minutes had passed, she noticed that Faa’izah had still not come for breakfast. When she went to Faa’izah’s room, she saw that Faa’izah had gone back to sleep. Faa’izah’s mother woke her up again and said, “Faa’izah! I cannot keep on waking you up, over and over! You are getting late for your breakfast, school work and madrasah work! Get up now!”

Faa’izah sat up in bed and glared at her mother for scolding her. She was a pretty girl, but when she behaved like this, then her behaviour was ugly, and her glaring face was also just as ugly.

Eventually, Faa’izah ate her porridge and toast, drank her tea, and then went back to her room to change. But again, after fifteen minutes passed, her mother saw that she had still not come to read her Surah Yaseen! Her mother went to her room to look for her, and saw that she was busy in front of the mirror, tying a fancy scarf on her head.

Her mother scolded her again saying, “Faa’izah! You know that you are late! Why are wasting time tying the fancy scarf, and why are you in front of the mirror again? Wear your normal burqah and come and read your Surah Yaseen!” Once again, Faa’izah pulled up her face and made rude noises at her mother to show that she was upset and irritated.

That afternoon, after they had read their zuhr salaah and had eaten lunch, Faa’izah’s mother told her to get ready as they were going to nani’s house. They were visiting nani and taking food for her. Faa’izah’s father had to rush back to work after lunch, and was dropping them off at nani’s house on the way to work, so he told them to get ready quickly, as he could not be late for work.

However, he sat in the car, in the driveway, waiting and waiting, and yet Faa’izah was nowhere to be seen. Since he was getting late, he even pressed the car hooter, until Faa’izah finally came out.

When she came out, he realised that the reason why she was making him late was that Faa’izah had changed out of her plain black cloak and plain black burqah, and had put on a fancy, colourful scarf and a fancy, colourful cloak. He became upset and said, “Faa’izah! Why are you dressing up like this? Girls are not supposed to dress up when leaving the home – they are supposed to dress with hayaa and conceal themselves! Furthermore, you are making me late!” Saying this, Faa’izah’s father sent her back into the house to change into the plain black cloak and burqah.

On reaching nani’s house, Faa’izah’s mother called her to the boot of the car and asked her to carry one of the pots into nani’s house. Then, while Faa’izah was picking up the pot, her mother went and knocked on the door. Barely a moment had passed when Faa’izah’s mother heard a loud crash! She turned, and to her horror and dismay, she saw that Faa’izah had dropped the whole pot of food on the ground, and all the food had spilt into the bushes and was now wasted!

She asked Faa’izah, “What happened? How did you drop the pot?” Faa’izah did not say anything, but her father said, “I saw what happened. Instead of looking where she was walking, she was more interested in looking at her reflection in the car mirror, so she tripped and dropped the pot.”

Faa’izah knew that she was now in trouble, as she had been troubling her mother from the morning. After going into nani’s house and seeing to nani, her mother sat her down and said, “Faa’izah! You are my daughter and I love you. Because I love you, I have to correct you to make sure that you become a good Muslim. Alhamdulillah Allah Ta‘ala has given you a pretty face, and you like to wear pretty clothing, but I have to say that your manners and behaviour are most ugly.

“You trouble me by not listening to me, and when I scold you or correct you, then you pull up your face at me. At that time, your face and your manners are not at all pretty. You only worry about how you look in front of people, and you want people to tell you that you look pretty. You always look into the mirror to see that you are pretty, but more important than that is for you to look into your life to see if you are behaving in a beautiful way, with beautiful manners and beautiful character.”

“If you have beautiful character and beautiful deeds, then Allah Ta‘ala will love you and you will win people’s hearts as well. But, if your character and deeds are ugly, then Allah Ta‘ala will be displeased with you, and people also will not like you – even though you may be pretty. Pretty looks are not everything – it is our character and behaviour that counts by Allah Ta‘ala. That is why when we look into the mirror, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) taught us to recite the mirror dua. The meaning of this dua is, ‘O Allah! You have made my appearance beautiful, so now make my character beautiful as well.’

“You must never be proud about your looks and beauty. Just as Allah Ta‘ala blessed you with beauty, your beauty can also be taken away. Sometimes, a person meets up in a car accident, and through the accident, they are injured and lose their beauty. Instead of being proud and looking into the mirror all the time to admire yourself, thank Allah Ta‘ala for His favour and be humble.

“Furthermore, you are a girl, and Islam teaches us that females must dress with hayaa at all times. When leaving the home for some need, a female must not dress in attractive and eye-catching clothing. She must wear loose-fitting, long clothing that conceals her body, and must cover her hair with a burqah or scarf. When she becomes a little big, she must wear the purdah as well. All of this is to make sure that she does not attract any attention, but by wearing fancy cloaks and scarves out of the house, you are doing the opposite by attracting everyone’s attention.”

Faa’izah listened to her mother with a guilty expression on her face. What her mother was telling her was the truth – she was only worried about her looks, and wearing fancy clothes, but her behaviour was rotten and ugly. She was proud and looked into the mirror too much, and she did not dress with hayaa when leaving the home.

Alhamdulillah, Faa’izah had a good heart, so when her mother corrected her this time and explained her weakness to her, she did not pull up her face as she used to before. Rather, she put her head down, and very humbly said, “I’m sorry mummy! Insha Allah, I will try to have beautiful character from now on. Also, I will stop looking into the mirror so much, and I will make sure that I dress with hayaa when leaving the home.”

When Faa’izah was humble, accepted her mistake and apologized, then her mother became so happy with her that she made special dua for her, and throughout her life, she benefited from this special dua of her mother.

Lessons:

1. More important than looking beautiful is for us to have beautiful character and beautiful deeds. If a person looks beautiful, but his character, behaviour and deeds are ugly and bad, then Allah Ta‘ala will be displeased with him and people also will not like him. However, even if a person is not so beautiful and attractive, but if their character, behaviour and deeds are beautiful, then Allah Ta‘ala will be happy with him and people also will be happy with him.
2. We must never be proud of our beauty and looks. If Allah Ta‘ala has blessed us with beauty, He can take the beauty away as well. We must remain humble and thankful to Allah Ta‘ala at all times for all His favours that we enjoy.
3. When leaving the home for some need, a female must dress in loose-fitting, long clothing that will conceal her body. The clothing must not attract attention. She must cover her hair by wearing a burqah or a scarf, and when she gets a little big, she must wear purdah as well.
4. When someone corrects us and shows us our weaknesses and mistakes, we must be humble. We must accept our mistakes, say that we are sorry and try to correct them. We must not pull up our faces, make rude sounds and back answer. Our parents scold us because they love us and want us to become good Muslims. We must respect our parents, listen to them, be humble in front of them and accept their scolding and correction.