Sunnats and Aadaab of the Upbringing of Children – Part 2

9. As the child grows up, the parents should ensure that the child is always exposed to good environments and is protected from wrong environments.

If the child is exposed to a good environment, then the good effect of the environment will rub onto the child.

On the contrary, if the child is exposed to a bad environment, then the ill effect of the environment will rub onto the child.

10. The parents should recite the Qur’aan Majeed, make zikr, recite durood shareef and do kitaab reading in the presence of the child so that the child becomes familiar with the words of Allah Ta‘ala and Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), and the noor of Islam positively impacts on the child.

11. When the child begins to speak, then the first thing which the child should be taught is to recite kalimah tayyibah.

عن إبراهيم التيمي ، قال : كانوا يستحبون أن يلقنوا الصبي يعرب أول ما يتكلم يقول لا إله إلا الله سبع مرات ويكون ذلك أول شيء يتكلم به. (المصنف لابن أبي شيبة، الرقم: 3519)

Ibrahim at Taymi (rahimahullah) said: “When a child would begin to speak, then the first thing the Sahabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) would like to teach the child is to recite the kalimah ‘La ilaha illallah’ seven times so that this kalimah is the first thing that the child speaks in his life.”

12. One should instil the importance of salaah in the child from a young age. The Hadith teaches us that we should instil the importance of salaah in a child from the age of seven and when he reaches ten, he should be disciplined if he does not perform salaah.

عن عمرو بن شعيب، عن أبيه، عن جده، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: مروا أولادكم بالصلاة وهم أبناء سبع سنين، واضربوهم عليها، وهم أبناء عشر وفرقوا بينهم في المضاجع (سنن أبي داود، الرقم: 495)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Command your children to perform salaah when they reach the age of seven, and hit them if they neglect performing salaah when they reach the age of ten, and separate their beds (at the age of ten).”

13. One should teach the child good manners and etiquettes from a young age.

عن عمر بن أبي سلمة قال: كنت غلاما في حجر رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وكانت يدي تطيش في الصحفة فقال لي رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: يا غلام سم الله وكل بيمينك وكل مما يليك فما زالت تلك طعمتي بعد (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 5376)

Hazrat Umar bin Abi Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) relates: “I grew up in the care of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). On one occasion, while eating with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), my hand began moving around the plate. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) (lovingly) addressed me saying: ‘O young boy, take the name of Allah Ta’ala (upon the commencement of the meal), eat with your right hand and eat from the side that is before you.’” Hazrat Umar bin Abi Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) further says: “This remained my habit of eating thereafter.”

14. One should ensure that one’s child is given the correct Islamic education and upbringing from a young age. The basics of deen should be taught to the child (i.e. the correct aqaaid, taharah, wudhu, salaah, social etiquettes, etc). If one is unable to fulfil this deeni need at home, then one should enrol the child in a maktab or a madrasah.

15. Teach your children adab (respect and islamic etiquette) and teach them to observe good character at all times when dealing with the creation.

عن أيوب بن موسى عن أبيه عن جده أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما نحل والد ولدا من نحل أفضل من أدب حسن (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 1952)

Hazrat Ayyoob bin Moosa reports from his father who reports from his grandfather that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “No father can give his child a better gift than the gift of (teaching him) good manners.”