Sunnats and Aadaab of Interacting with one’s Parents – Part 2

4. When addressing your father, you should not call him by his name, rather you should use a title of love and respect such as Abba, etc.

عن عائشة قالت: أتى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم رجل ومعه شيخ فقال: يا فلان من هذا معكم قال: أبي قال: فلا تمش أمامه ولا تجلس قبله ولا تدعه باسمه ولا تستسب له  (المعجم الأوسط للطبراني، الرقم: ٤١٥٩، وقال العلامة الهيثمي رحمه الله في مجمع الزوائد (الرقم: ١٣٣٩٦): رواه الطبراني في الأوسط وقال: لا يروي عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إلا بهذا الإسناد عن شيخه علي بن سعيد بن بشير وهو لين وقد نقل ابن دقيق العيد أنه وثق ومحمد بن عرعرة بن يزيد لم أعرفه وبقية رجاله رجال الصحيح)

Hazrat Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) reports that on one occasion, a person came to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) accompanied by an old man. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked him, “Who is this person (referring to the old man)?” He replied, “This is my father.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then advised him regarding the rights of his father saying, “(When you walk with him,) you should not walk in front of him, (and when you both reach a gathering,) you should not sit before he sits, (and when you address him,) do not call him by his name, and do not become the cause for others swearing him (i.e. do not insult people’s parents, as they will insult your parents).”

5. One should regularly make dua for his parents. One may make the following dua which is recorded in the Qur’aan Majeed to be made for parents:

رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيٰنِي صَغِيرًا

My Lord! bestow upon them Your (special) Mercy as they brought me up me in childhood.

6. One should have deep love and great affection for his parents in his heart. At all times, one should deal with his parents with love and affection and show them mercy and compassion. It is reported in the hadith that by a person looking at his parents with love and mercy, then each time he looks at them with mercy, he will receive the reward of an accepted Nafl Hajj.

عن ابن عباس أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما من ولد بار ينظر نظرة رحمة إلا كتب الله بكل نظرة حجة مبرورة قالوا وإن نظر كل يوم مائة مرة قال نعم الله أكبر وأطيب (شعب الإيمان، الرقم: 7472 هذا الحديث وإن كان ضعيفا ولكن يقبل في فضائل الأعمال لأجل الشواهد)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbaas (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “There is no obedient child who looks at his parents with mercy (and love) except that Allah Ta‘ala records for him the reward of an accepted Hajj for every time he looks (at his parents with mercy)” The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) asked, “Even if he looks one hundred times every day?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes, Allah Ta‘ala is the greatest and He is much more bountiful (His reward is much more than you can imagine).”

7. One should not ask his parents to do any work for him. Rather, he should remain in their service at all times. Similarly, according to one’s ability, one should make an effort to fulfil their wishes and acquire for them what they desire.

8. If one’s parents are old and poor, then one should support them and see to their needs and necessities. The responsibility of taking care of one’s old and poor parents lies on the shoulders of the children.