Sunnats and Aadaab of Speech – Part 18

1. When engaging in a discussion or mashwara with one’s seniors, one should not initiate the discussion, but allow the seniors to speak first. Thereafter, one may respectfully present one’s opinion.

عن سهل بن أبي حثمة، ورافع بن خديج، أن محيصة بن مسعود، وعبد الله بن سهل، انطلقا قبل خيبر، فتفرقا في النخل، فقتل عبد الله بن سهل، فاتهموا اليهود، فجاء أخوه عبد الرحمن، وابنا عمه حويصة، ومحيصة إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فتكلم عبد الرحمن في أمر أخيه، وهو أصغر منهم، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: كبر الكبر، أو قال: ليبدأ الأكبر  (صحيح مسلم، الرقم: 1669)

Hazrat Sahl bin Abi Hathma and Hazrat Raafi bin Khadeej ‘(radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) report that Hazrat Muhaiyyisa bin Mas’ood and Hazrat Abdullah bin Sahl (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) went to Khaibar and while there, they both separated by going in two different paths in an orchard. Thereafter, Hazrat Abdullah bin Sahl (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) was found murdered, and they suspected the Jews (of killing him). Thus, his brother, Abdur Rahmaan bin Sahl, and his cousins Huwaiyyisa and Muhaiyyisa, came to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) to discuss the issue. Abdur Rahmaan, who was the youngest of them all, began speaking regarding what had transpired with his brother (who was murdered). Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Let the elder (among you) speak first.”