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Being Considerate about the Feelings of People

Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiallahu Anhu) makes space for Hadhrat Abbaas (Radhiallahu Anhu) to sit

Musjid Nabawiعن أم المؤمنين عائشة رضي الله عنها قالت: كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم جالساً مع أصحابه وبجنبه أبو بكر وعمر رضي الله عنهما، فأقبل العباس رضي الله عنه، فأوسع له أبو بكر فجلس بين النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وبين أبي بكر، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لأبي بكر: "إنما يعرف الفضلَ لأهل الفضلِ أهلُ الفضل".  (حياة الصحابة)

Hadhrat Aaisha (Radhiallahu Anha) reports that on one occasion Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was seated with the Sahaabah, and beside him Hadhrat Abu Bakr and Hadhrat Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma) were seated. Hadhrat Abbaas (Radhiallahu Anhu) then entered the gathering. Upon seeing him, Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiallahu Anhu) immediately made space for him. Hadhrat Abbaas (Radhiallahu Anhu) thus sat between Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiallahu Anhu). Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then (out of happiness) mentioned to Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiallahu Anhu): “Certainly only people of virtue recognize people of virtue.”

Moving out of Consideration for one’s Muslim Brother

inside musjidعن واثلة بن الخطاب قال : دخل رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو في المسجد قاعد فتزحزح له رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم . فقال الرجل : يا رسول الله إن في المكان سعة . فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : " إن للمسلم لحقا إذا رآه أخوه أن يتزحزح له " . رواهما البيهقي في " شعب الإيمان " (مشكاة المصابيح)

Hadhrat Waathila bin Asqaa (Radhiallahu Anhu) reports that on one occasion a Sahaabi came and seated himself beside Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) while Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was (seated) in the Musjid. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) immediately moved a little from his place (in order that the Sahaabi be comfortable). The Sahaabi exclaimed: “O Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), there is sufficient place for me to sit (i.e. There was no need for you, who is the Imaam of the Ambiyaa and the greatest of Allah Ta’ala’s creation, to take the trouble to move for me).” Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied: “It is the right that a Muslim owes his brother that when he sees him, (out of consideration) he should move a little for him (i.e. to make him comfortable).” (Mishkaat)

Considering the Feelings of Others

Wood-pathHazrat Thaanwi (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) mentions:

Once, there was a pious person whose wife used to harass him a lot.  It reached such a point that people noticed the inconvenience she was putting him through. Some concerned people even suggested to him that he should divorce her. He replied, “I also considered that option. However, when I had given it a moment of thought it occurred to me that if perhaps after divorcing her, she does not remarry; will this not be a means of inconvenience to her? If perchance she does remarry, then she may harass the second husband in the manner I am being treated. Hence, I decided to endure this difficulty and safeguard another Muslim from difficulty and inconvenience. As long as I am alive, why should I cause inconvenience to my wife or be the means for another Muslim undergoing unnecessary difficulty?" (Jawaahir Paare)

One Etiquette when Sitting by a Sick Person

comfortRasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) taught the Ummah that at the time of visiting the sick one should shorten one’s stay. The reason for this is so that one does not become the means of bringing discomfort and inconvenience to the sick. Hence from this mubaarak teaching of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) we understand that we should be considerate about the condition of people and their feelings when interacting with them.

عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال من السنة تخفيف الجلوس وقلة الصخب  (مرقاة-باب عيادة المريض)

It is reported that Hadhrat ibn Abbaas (Radhiallahu Anhu) said: “It is from the Sunnah to shorten one’s visit (by the sick) and to avoid making noise.”

It is reported that once a group of people went to visit Hadhrat Sarri Saqti (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) in his final illness. They prolonged their stay by him. Hadhrat Sarri Saqti (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) was at that time suffering from stomach pains. They then intended to leave and asked Hadhrat Sarri Saqti (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) to make duaa for them. Hadhrat Sarri Saqti (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) made duaa: “O Allah, teach them the etiquettes of visiting the sick.” (Mirqaat)

On one occasion, a person went to visit a sick patient and remained by him for a long time. The sick person then said: “We have been greatly inconvenienced by the large number of people coming to visit us.” The visitor asked: “Should I get up and close the door for you so that they don’t come in?” The sick person replied: “Yes, but close it from outside.” (I.e. you also remain outside as you are also causing inconvenience).   (Mirqaat)

The caution exercised by Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma) when dealing with People

ethicsHadhrat Abdullah bin Dinaar (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) relates that on one occasion I was present with Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma). A person then came to Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma) and mentioned to him that he wished to discuss something confidential with him. At that time besides myself there was no one else present with Hadhrat ibn Umar. However, Hadhrat ibn Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma) was not happy to leave me aside, and engage in a private discussion with the person. Thus he called another person to the gathering. After seeing that we were four people in total, Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radhiallahu Ahuma) addressed me and the person he called to the gathering saying: “You two remain here, while I see to the need of the person that has come to me.” He then explained the reason for calling the fourth person to the gathering and asking both of us to remain together. He said that: “I heard Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) say that two people should not talk secretly to each other, while leaving the third person aside, as this type of conduct will cause inconvenience to him.” (Muatta Imaam Maalik pg. 732)  

Note:

From this incident, we understand the importance Shariat has laid upon showing consideration towards the feelings of people and not being the means of any pain or hurt coming to them. Though the purport of the Hadith is that when three people are present together in a gathering, two people should not talk secretly among themselves, leaving out the third person (as this will create doubts in his heart of them discussing him or he will feel hurt for not being included in their conversation ), and this did not apply to this situation (where the third person came into the gathering and asked for a separate sitting to discuss some issue), however despite this, Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radhiallahu Anhuma) exercised additional caution to ensure that his action does not go against the apparent meaning of the Hadith as well as it does not become the means of causing any pain or inconvenience to a believer.